A little personal and a little political

Today’s news (July 4th, 2028)

President  Chelsea Clinton congratulated entire world on for the Independence Day. Running for her 2nd term, she promised that she will end the war on terror. She blamed the her predecessor President Jeb Bush for continuing war and the 57% jobless rate. She promised to bring the jobless rate back to 50%, and increase the welfare benefits, back to the President Hillary Clinton days. Her opponent Jenna Bush claimed that the President is ducking the important issues like abortion.

China had claimed the last of the Indian North Eastern state, Meghalaya. But India Prime Minister Rahul Gandhi assured the nation that India never had any North Eastern states, and he apologized to China. India President announced that Rahul Gandhi will make water and air also free for all Indians after he wins re-election.

Samsung bought both North Korea and South Korea, and named it Galaxy. Now it built the biggest factory in the world.

Ending the years of confusion, United Nations now categorized people into three sections. 1. Rulers (Elected politicians, CEOs, Top bureaucrats) – 0.0001% of the population 2. Workers (People who are directly working under the Rulers) – 3% of population and 3. Welfare (People who don’t have any rights, often refered as slaves). In a related news, Corporate giants claimed that they killed the caste system, and achieved equality. They also said they are on the verge of combining all the religions into one single religion.

Monsanto now will have a special court at the international stage. All the cases against it will be directed to this court. 75% of the judges will be appointed by the Monsanto. While this is hailed by the President of US, as an unprecedented way to self regulate, some protestors are using fear-mongering techniques to scare common people. In a different press note, Monsanto expected 51% of all Welfare people will have patented organs by the end of the decade.

Since most of the land became infertile, the demand for artificial food has increased. In a different news, the stock price for Dow Chemicals has skyrocketed.

Sports News: In a new regulation, the central sports minister for China mandated that all the sports women must have at least won a corporate sponsored beauty pageant at some stage. Both male and female sportspersons must sign a deal with big 4 corporate giants. Other major countries to follow similar guidelines.

Sachin Tendulkar MP (RS) singed his first ever bill, which will allow sportspersons to have voluntary retirement, and nominate their children in a team at the same level.

A new expose on Cricket rocked the nation for entire afternoon. The video cables showed all the world cup match results played by India were fixed, dating from the first ever world cup. The fans were upset until India won in it’s next match. Indians hit sixer each every ball in this match.

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This entry was posted on July 4, 2013 by in Uncategorized.
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